I was up and late, I quickly rushed out of the hostel. I knew the other workers were already in church and trying to tidy up and make the place fit for worship.
In two hours the worship service would start, the in-house and invited ministers would set the house ablaze , worshiping, singing and praying all the way but I was wondering why I already felt disconnected from the entire service.
After fixing all that needed fixing, we quickly rushed and dressed, I don’t always wear heavy makeup so it made it easier to get dressed, after few minutes I was up and ready to send my incense of worship to God and saturate the the atmosphere.
They all sang sweetly to Jesus, I wondered how this made him feel, excited or just a normal Sunday to Sunday activities for us. Trying hard to focused my attention on the cross and let my heart release the melody.
Every part of me was distracted, I couldn’t close my eyes not because of my confusion but because of my duty as a church usher. I needed to learn to balance between watching the people, seeing God and connecting with the rest of the ushers incase of any emergency. How then can I focus?
As the head of the ushering unit I have always taught us all to remain focused and not let the activity rob us off our blessings but It wasn’t always easy since the power of God upon some came heavily and the screams and cry would fill my heart with compassion and love for them.
Now I stood right in front of the service I had fully prepared for but I was loosing my blessings because I couldn’t see the cross, I pondered for a moment if it was the song or my fault, the worshipper was doing his thing and connecting to God but none of the songs were getting to me. I let go and decided to help others enjoy the service that was my duty as a church usher.
Hours past, still worshiping and I was still standing still and looking around. I prayed silently to my Abbah father help me see you here today, I don’t want to leave the way I came. You know my soft buttons Lord, press it till I sense you!
My mind kept wondering around till one song hit me, just one song, I have been waiting since 8:00am and just about closing time one song hit me, it broke every single feeling I was waiting to feel and it opened the channels of my spirit and in a moment I sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit.
It’s my duty as an usher to remain still and orderly but at this point I couldn’t hold myself up, his power was real and he was right in my heart. I fell to my knees and tears stream down my cheeks.” Here I am Lima” was all I heard.
It’s didn’t linger long, it was like he came to do a brief work but he left me with a great lesson. So please pay attention to me and I will explain!
The presence of God is not meant to be felt, it is sensed.
The Holy Spirit is not a force he is a person, he has emotions.
If you try to force him to come you will end up like me every Sunday service, you will get distracted, jealous, confused and even depressed. Do not wait to feel his presence!
Waiting for his presence before worshiping or praying is like inviting a guest to your house but then you decide not to tidy up the place and make that delicious meal until your guest arrive. When he or she shows up they might just leave dissapointed.
Do not wait to feel his presence, create the atmosphere. I know there are days the burden gets to heavy and tends to wear us down but learn to lay it down on Jesus, don’t always wait for the perfect song or timing to worship, don’t wait for your favorites singer or favourite song, these are all distractions.
Set your eyes upon the Lord and let him lead you.
Prepare your heart for him, cleanse it every day and ask him to help you search it. Pray that he takes away everything that doesn’t look like him in there and let him lead you.
I am glad that I had to experience that moment of disconnection, even if I had to learn the hard way I have learnt but there is an easy way I pray you go through it.
I have notice that every season and dealings in my life have specific songs that help me connect but like my father will say you don’t need a song to connect to God all you need is a broken and contrite heart.
So I urge you to go to God with a broken heart and he would give you a song and a right state of mind.
You are the residential address of the Holy Spirit on earth represent him well.
When people come to you may they find the presence of God, you are the church, Ye are god and a child of the most high by if you don’t know this you will die like a mere mortal!
Come up hither!
Photo credit: Rhema chapel media department.