Hi guys, are you doing alright? I know how crazy it is and how many of us try our best to avoid long- distance relationship. But then, some of us are fortunate enough to find ourselves in one. I am some of us! LOL
A long- distance relationship is not very different from the normal relationships where y’all get to see each other daily. Though I know there are relationships were both individuals live in the same environment but are distant; I think that should be considered an unkempt relationship. A long- distance relationship is one where one party stays far from the other, where you have to travel or fly kilometers to get to your significant other!
IS A LONG- DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY?
This is always the first question I get asked. Is it healthy? Won’t y’all grow apart? Let’s look at it this way. You don’t live in the same house with your doctor, his probably kilometers away from you, and you might have to take a short trip to him, no matter how short or long the trip is, you don’t mind taking it because you need a check-up or you need meds. The difference here is, unlike a doctor-patient relationship, you will always need to maintain your long- distance love-relationship. A long- distance relationship is healthy as long as you keep maintaining it, as long as you keep feeding it, as long as you keep sincerity checked to secure trust. It’s healthy!
HOW DO YOU MANAGE DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?
Now, I find this intelligent and interesting… instead of asking if it’s healthy, I think it’s better to ask how to maintain one. I like to always say that a distance relationship is a sacrificial relationship. It soars on the wings of sacrifice. It’s a high-maintenance relationship. Without sacrifice, your relationship will die. Everyone is healthy until they stop taking proper care.
If communication is not the key, it is the hand that holds the key to a successful far away relationship. I have met people that think they are not the talking type; I want to assume what they mean is their quiet, because if you don’t like talking you won’t be heard. Communication is key; learn to listen, understand and talk about everything. Speak about your day; what happened, what you wished to have happened, and what you would love to change the next day.
Learn to call each other, learn to text each other, and don’t make it a programmed thing where the other party almost knows the time to expect a call or message. Be flexible, be sweet and be down to earth! Communication is everything; it is the key, the lock, and still the key. Don’t ever lose your ability to communicate with your partner, don’t get tired of talking and listening to them– it’s possible to get bored so try to find and keep up with interesting topics. Life is dynamic, so are we. We evolve, and we change every day. Talk about those things that you used to like but don’t like anymore, talk about God, His love, your love and engage a lot.
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER
- Talk about your day
- About work
- Talk about books and novels
- Your plans for the day, month, or year. Take each day and treat it as your best day.
- Talk about the things that made you so excited during the day.
- Things you would have avoided or changed at the course of your day.
- People you wanted to meet, place you would love to visit together.
- Talk about trends and share memes with each other.
- Disagree to agree, argue so you can both let each other win.
- Talk about how you both want to be loved
- How you want to be spoken to
- How you want to be treated
- Share Christian messages and podcast together, listen to them and share your thoughts.
- The home you want to raise
- Mentors you want to meet
- Children you want to have
I particularly don’t get to see babe too often, and when I do I want to talk all day and not do anything. I want to spend time eating, playing games, listening to how much he misses me, how much he wished he could fly to me (LOL). We both have to sacrifice time, finance, we’ve to drop our phones to be able to spend quality time together— it’s like leaving everything behind to enjoy a day or two together, I have days I just want to gossip with my girls, but I also want to respect the precious time we are having to share on calls.
Before you start a long-distance relationship make sure you are willing to sacrifice time.
Make sure you are willing to save up and spend it.
Now that you know this, let’s talk about finance!!!
Money is like the spice that makes your long-distance relationship taste better. Na person wey get airtime they call boo na. You will need to credit your line to call him/her, you won’t be able to stay without data because your relationship will suffer it. I used to have this bad habit of replying late or not replying to my texts at all, but I had to work on it; I had to learn to call and return my calls. Everything becomes different when you don’t intentionally work on yourself before any relationship. when you have a baby to reach out to, you will cherish long-time calls and video calls, I never knew I was going to love those (sigh).
I feel like I have been talking about gifts since Christmas, but for God so love the world, He gave the most precious thing to Him. Please love is expensive, you my darling will pay the price. Did she send you a text telling you how much she loved the lunch you sent? Did you enjoy the excitement in her voice when she got the credit alert? Were you surprised at the joy in his tone when he got the airtime? How did you feel knowing that he won’t sleep hungry cause you paid for dinner? I still love gift cards, but credit alerts got me smiling all through last month!!! A good man or a good woman is a gift from God, now is the right time to nurture it!
Yes, you read it right! One of my favorite verse in the Bible is the one that says ‘perfect love cast out all fears’. If you are in a long- distance relationship you will have to learn to shut the devil and even some friends. I was in my room having a quiet time when my one of my Roommate said something that got to me, and somehow it lingered for a while. She said “ every long- distance relationship soars on the wings of understanding; you’ll have to understand that your partner is cheating and ask no questions.” My quiet time for that day was ruined, I had to address that! And I did, but after that, fear crept in and found a place in my heart.
I got worried unnecessarily and had to pray about it. Learn to have a relationship without a third party! Jesus is not the third but the first— choose your relationship mentors wisely, chose your couple crush and goals smartly. If you are in a distance relationship you will have to smarting up!!!
To Be Continued…