No I can’t, I am soaked in the ocean of sin Lord…
The last sentence I said to God before going to bed on Thursday night. I know you are wondering how i got soaked In so early.
You see, the truth is there is no Failure with God,what he says he will do he will surely do. I had a rough and busy week, out of the usual(going to church, fasting, praying and talking to God.) Found myself in an environment where the only bridge connecting I and God was a thank you. I had boundaries and i walked away from the boundaries, passed the circle and out of his presence. I couldn’t say so much to him because I have missed him. Strange, when you miss people and finally meet them you want to spend quality and quantity time with them but it’s different when you miss God, when you miss God the devil tries to snatch you completely and even when you try to come near you just don’t tend to feel It because love is not a feeling.
God is not a man and you my friend is created to dwell in his presence, don’t be like me cause last week I uncovered something, something different, strange and disappointing.
We most times forget that we are still flesh, grow capacity and then retreat. When you grow capacity you must continue to move (never slow down) don’t feel like you know so much or you burning too fast. No matter what happens keep moving.
Tear down the box.
Do not put God In a box, because boxes are boundaries and every dimension of it stops you from getting closer to God. When your relationship with God is base on boundaries you will be the one to suffer when you get out of the box and not him. So let me tell you a short story.
Y’all know that am not perfect and I have also sealed God in a box (in a box of prayer, fasting, quality time.) Of perfection, right? so last week i don’t know how but my box tore and I was the only one that got kicked out of it by my flesh. I took a detour and couldn’t find my way back into the box. Depressed, confused, sad, boring not lost but lust in my own desires to overcome. I started harbouring questions in my heart. Questions I was going to ask God when I get back into our perfect little box and I’m certain he has answers for me. never did I know he was also ready with questions like arrows to shoot at me. Oh God!
“Why have me in a box Lima?”
i had God in a box, and I was so confused, I was tired and I settled for a cup of tea with the devil. The voices you hear when you’re alone are not all yours, I want you to know that as much you’re gifted to talk to yourself, to hear God talk to you, you also can hear the devil speak and when you allow him access through your mind, your thought becomes a lengthy conversation with the man hovering in your head.
Always think about what you are thinking and how healthy it is to your mind.
He told me a lot of thing while we spoke, he told me how I wasn’t good enough, how I don’t pray enough, praise enough, worship enough, fast enough and how I am not worth it. He also said that I was not going to have it good and easy, he said I am wasting my time spreading the word, speaking and writing Christ and you know what else he said? He said you won’t make it, God doesn’t care about you, he said a lot more, things I didn’t even know about myself.
He left me shocked, quiet and bordered, he helped me damage the remaining piece of that box and you know what I don’t regret? The boxes needed to be destroyed,I just couldn’t do it! so he thought he was coming to crush me since i was out of my comfort zone, I wish he knew, that the moment he stepped on that box he accidentally freed me, he set me loose. He thought he was destroying what was left of I and God. Poor him, he just stepped on the lions tail.
I didn’t figure it out at once, but I knew that something was off and what was at first tea with the enemy became a breakthrough cause last night I sat on the bed viewed a friend status on WhatsApp and I said “no I can’t,I am soaked in sin!” You know what I couldn’t do, I couldn’t ask God to bless me because I felt bad and i felt like I had disappointed God but immediately those words left my lips I had him speak and my Lord asked
Who told you that you are soaked in sin?
May God fix your mess with questions this morning, may God answer your question with a question because even his questions have the power to redeem you. They have the power to kick doubt, fear and a wondering mind and may he answer all of your questions.
Don’t seal God in a box he wants to be everywhere that you are,he Is but you need to permit him to walk in. You see i shut him out when I felt alone though I was still able to give him thanks and acknowledge that he Is with me even when I can’t feel it but he made me understand that love is more than feelings and as much you want to feel God and sense his presence you won’t always get that feeling, you will have to believe, persevere and push through sometimes but he will never leave you nor forsake you.
January is over but it was tough for me, I want to believe that some of you had it awesome and others tough but whichever way he is Emmanuel and will always be with you, even when the going get tough and you can’t pray, worship, praise or even give thanks he will be there before you call him, he will.
I love you…Happy new love(month), keep believing,keep loving,stand firm and stand for him even when you’re lost he will leave the whole world to come find you.
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Thank You Sweet heart. Your Confession is a light to Us.