An imperfect lover

You are a goal

You are a work in progress

You are imperfect

Still you are worth it….

My perfect imperfection .

Lately my life hasn’t been funny, it’s like a battle field where I and the forces pulling me down are at war.

Was I waiting to be perfect before I serve God the more? Yes!

Am I? No!

I thought lifting up holy hands is perfection, so I wanted to be on my heels with a pretty shiny manicure sweetly lifted unto Abbah .

But no, I knew something was missing, I knew who I wanted to be. I don’t want to be perfect before God, I don’t want to even be good before him I just want to be better .i want to be better for me, for him, for his kingdom advancement.

I was so excited 2017 was over. “I am going to correct every mistake and make well of 2018″was the sweetest lie I have ever said to myself. .

You know it’s amazing how we try to mend our mistakes with words that can’t birth action, I call it a premature growth. No matter how you try to get to the walking stage, you still end up crawling.

You don’t have to be perfect

God doesn’t expect you to be perfect .

When I look back,most times I wonder how I have made it here. So why am I here now and trying to be perfect, did I get here through my perfection? No!

My life is still tough, I am still in between periods where I struggle to wake up to pray(prayer is a sacrifice) , I hate myself for it, fasting still beat me. I don’t have it all easy but because I do it anyway. The world thinks am perfect and finally I am beginning to feel the pressure to act perfect.

So I soaked under my pillow and cried my heart out, as if not enough I packed my broken self to church and continue my tears conversation in his presence…” Why am I so imperfect lord? “this question came out in tears, I was broken,pained and damaged(from fighting to be public figure).

Just there, just like that with my head in between my thighs . I had his voice, I shivered from his warmth, I felt the lump in my throat as I tried to swallow hard. The goosebumps spread faster than a cold weather will give me(i have come to the reality of a broken spirit and his presence) and Abbah said to me “baby you don’t have to be perfect, I love you anyway. You are mine, my possession,my sheep. The apple of my eyes. You don’t have to be perfect again” he said. You are not a deposit, you are whole,my spirit is upon you, you are anointed. I didn’t come for a perfect you,i came for the imperfect child with a broken spirit.

Am such a baby in his presence,i love that I can’t hide anything I am from God, I love that he knows me, I love that he loves me. I love that I don’t have to be self conscious around him,i love that I don’t feel scared in his presence, I love that that I don’t feel bored, I love that he understands me, I love that he doesn’t judge me. I don’t have to be perfect, I am an imperfect lover and he hears my voice.

paraventure you are giving up the early hours of prayers because you don’t wake up always or keep to time , you are giving up the fast cause you get so beaten up at the end of the day, paraventure you are tired of studying without revelations. You are an imperfect lover and you are more than a deposit, tarry a little longer my friend. Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard what my Abbah will do with an imperfect lover. He will grant you perfection when you come to the point of intimacy. Don’t get weary, don’t get bordered, you don’t need to be known,don’t try to get popular, purpose and passion will spread your fame. Passion for his presence will take you where ears have not heard. Purpose will take you where eyes has not seen at the appointed time.

For now keep being the imperfect lover,keep loving him, keep praying, stay with him. You are imperfect but he loves you all the way.

He is still adorning you, he is still bringing people your way to help you, he is fixing you. He is working on your mindset. He will bring friends your way, family members that are spirit filled, he will bring men that have passed through this stage of crawling to inspire you. Wait…

You are his imperfect bride, he won’t let you out until you are ready, beautiful and glorious ,he is still preparing you…

He loves every inch of you, you are beautiful and wonderful. You are his image, his reflection, you are not imperfect, you are a goal, a work in progress. Make him your perfect imperfection.

I Am An Imperfect Lover 💓💓💓💓