Hello guys 🌹
You’re welcome to another exciting moment on Lima’s blog… today’s topic is one that has raised concerns amongst intending brides to be.
The bride price is money or property paid by a groom or his family to the family of the woman who is just about to be married. The payment of bride price or dowry according to historians is a tradition which dates back more than 2500 years.
In Nigeria and Africa at large, the payment of the bride price is a sign of respect and honor to the parents of the bride as well as the bride herself. Narrowing it down to present-day Nigeria; the bride price custom has been abused over the years as it has been passed down from generation to generation, and this has raised some level of concern for intending brides.
In those days the bride price was a token of honor to the parents, a way of saying, ‘thank you for taking good care of my wife’. But in recent times parents and relatives ask for a rediculous sum of money. Should this continue, I’m afraid many women will remain Unmarried.
The bride price is not a settlement but a token of love and honor.
How much is the ideal bride price?
We have seen weddings get suspended and what was supposed to be a joyful moment ends up causing conflict between families. Are Nigerians selling their daughters?
I’m from Kogi state and in my place and other places around; the Yoruba’s and the Igbo’s especially; you pay the bride price according to the class of the lady you want to marry. Is she educated? What course did she study? Is she working? Where does she work? God help you if your fiancée studied any medical or law-related course. Weddings can be outrageously expensive, you need more than love to get Married.
Just as Lima rightly said, some bride price consist of varying prices ranging from mere skin complexion of the bride…
In cases where the groom is forced to pay through his nose, the groom regards his wife as a mere property for life. Her opinion on matters in the house is no longer significant. It’s more like she has to execute the motive for her investment at all times.
We must bear in mind that the bride price is the PRIDE of every woman anticipating marriage and not the PRICE TAG on the woman.
Parents must understand that whatever contribution or investment made into their daughters cannot be regained at the point of bride price payment…
It’s time to talk
Read Also: Leave the married man alone
We are not carrying flags all about to protest against our parents. No, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
Don’t wait for the day of your introduction (bride price payment) to wonder at the ungodly price your parents or uncles are going to call, and don’t wait until you get a boyfriend or Fiancé to start asking the right questions.
Wake up on a beautiful day, do something beautiful for your mum, start talking with your mum, make sure it’s engaging, then ask her the cultural requirements for marriage.
Ask her about her thoughts, ask her the amount she will want your own fiancé to pay. Engage her, and get to know about it. You don’t have to ask all the questions in one sitting, a little at a time, suggest some adjustments. And listen to what she has to say or what daddy has to say, don’t argue just keep suggesting, make your reasons valuable and simple.
While carrying out the underground project of trying to condition the minds of our parents.
It’s important to also take it to the place of prayer.
There’s a need for proper cohesion between the couples to be. Whatever both have agreed upon should not be easily influenced by members of the family.
Do the needful
- Start preparing your mind.
- Engage your parent in marital talks.
- Don’t get angry at them
- Try to understand the direction they are taking
- Hear them out, and when you don’t agree with it. Point out the adjustment.
- If they don’t agree with you, don’t push it.
- Start praying about it.
- Give it time
- Talk to them about it again, politely and respectfully.
- Men, please ask questions; ask her how things are done in her family.
- And don’t leave all the prayers to her, pray with her. War wives + priestly men= kingdom marriages.
Thank you Gerald for doing this with me. You are always welcome on Lima’s Blog.
Love, Lima ❤️