Why did lot’s wife look back?
Friday night, at about 10:35 p.m my phone rang, I searched under the pillow my eyes still closed, swiped my screen to answer the call, I already knew who was calling.
“Hello, are you outside, Should I open the door?” I asked my sister trying to save enough time to go back to my sleep.
“I’m not, our neighbor is, she said she has been knocking. Can you let her in?”
I clumsily walked to the door, opened it and she walked pass me. She looked different than usual, a little bit messy and tired. “Are you okay, how was your exams?”
“Fine, I am done…”
“Okay, congrats…” I smiled and locked the door behind her, she walked to the kitchen and I just went back to bed. ” I need to shower, can I use the heater?”
” okay”I mumbled and closed my eyes, I don’t know for how long I slept but she called out again” are you awake?”
“Uhmm…” I managed to answer “you are okay?”
” yeah, can I ask you a question?” She asked unsure.
” don’t you miss your past?” She glanced before looking away.
“I don’t get?…”
” don’t you miss partying, having fun and having so many men you can rely on? Why does it look so easy for you to be a christian?
“I don’t miss any of that” I looked at her encouraging her to go on.
“Is it that easy?”
“If I say no, will you think it’s hard?”
My brain started to plan the perfect answers to give her, I wanted to tell how hard it is, all the sacrifices I have made on the journey to knowing Christ, I wanted to tell her all the perfect story, my commitment level, I just wanted to boost about everything. Exactly my human nature!
I asked God to help me, I needed to hear from the holy spirit before running my mouth. How will I encourage her, how can I tell her that the offering is hot but the incense is sweet without sounding religious and chasing her away. I prayed!
• • • • • •
It’s difficult and more stressful to embrace God when you can’t lay it all down and walk away from it. You need to learn to let go and let God, for most people that’s the most difficult part of the journey, there really is no benefit outside God. You can party after party, get drunk and jump from one bed to another and still be unsatisfied.
The world wasn’t created to satisfy you, you can only get filled up but never satisfy, only God can. He is the only one who can feel the space and still heal it, he is the only one who understands the raging sound of your heart beat. The war between your mind and your inner voice.
There is nothing left behind.
Today, when I try to look behind me, I see nothing. No friends, all pots are void of smoke, I can’t wear those shoes again, I don’t fit in so why keep them, why try to own it when I have outgrown?.
There is a lot you need to stop thinking of when you want to start the journey of discovering your place in Christ, you need to go empty, drop every weight and let him carry you. Let him call you his own. You need to shut your eyes and feel your heart beat, you are alive for a purpose and partying is not one if it.
Cast your burden on the Lord , And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
Psalms 55:22 NKJV
Leave a life worth dying for…
Don’t look behind, look ahead, don’t stop moving keep going and when you don’t understand trust God!
Accept Christ today and start a new journey, start something worthwhile, start living, start embracing life and live for the kingdom. Let your life be-gain!
To my amazing friend Hope,
Thank you for choosing to speak to me and for letting me share this, I know how crazy it feels to think of what tomorrow holds, I have counted all the what If’s in my life and I have come to the realization that I have nothing to loose, my decision to let go and let God has been the most amazing and toughest journey of my life but in all of this craziness, I have learned to stretch out in faith, look at an empty bank account and ignore the man calling me over for a hot meal, I am resting on the faithful and merciful hands of God and everyday I am learning to trust him completely.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Matthew 6:33 NKJV
Christians ain’t perfect people, I’m sorry if you wanted me to say otherwise. Christians are people who die to their flesh everyday, we are conquerors, we are united, we are together as a family that pray…
Be the kind of woman that can bring down the move of God.