I was just a girl who felt brand new, searching for someone to love, and embrace me.
You hear me say a lot of times that friendship is not my thing, yes I do think so! Sad, right? 😢
Having no friend to lean on is a limitation, embrace friendship but don’t worship it.
I have no right to tell you anything about friendship, I don’t feel like i’m in the position to.
It was all a knock, but this time around I was the one on the other side of the door and trying to get others to open up to me, sadly I couldn’t describe the manner of love I have to give or i’m willing to keep .
If Jesus loves me so much to save me, who am I not to love. Jesus was and still is my greatest friend .
Do you know, I am scared to come after you?
The door I stand behind is not just the barrier nor an obstacle.
Everyday I look from the window, maybe to find someone who is in search of a friend,
A heart I could belong to, that I can fit into like a lock and key.
Can you help me, this race would you be my track mate.
Would thou come close to me or stay away, should I stay?, tell me what you want me to do.
How safe is this zone titled friendship.
My love is not blind but I can choose to overlook, would you stay or would you rather leave?
Do I say it, are you ready to listen.
i am scared of the heartbreak of losing a love one , I’m scared you would ruin my definition of sacrifice. Maybe it’s just right I hold it back.
Oh dear friend i am cold and still out the door, wondering if I should knock again.
Would you still think that I act as if I know it all, would you still think that I don’t fall, would that change your mind. I am terrified too, I am just as a lost sheep, I am troubled too, I want to learn, I want to know but how can I, when you think i am too perfect.
i am out the door, I want to knock but I know the taste of bitterness, it’s so sour I can’t stand it again… i am also very scared, please let down your guard and help me up.
Jesus is still willing to be a friend .
I still remember clearly how I decided to let Jesus become my friend, bored of the normal betrayal. It had become a habit, tired of the hot tears, the lump in my throat kept melting away for more. I was alone, always alone, I went to school alone, came back alone.
I kept to myself for long, where do I start from, who would understand, who would let me in? The only heart I belonged to eloped with someone else, the thing I feared the most have finally caught up with me.
Just like yesterday, I am back where you left knocking at the door, Will someone with a soft heart open, will I belong?
Then the voice came again, let go…
“i am here for you.”
“who are you, I don’t want you. Go away!”
“I can heal you, Just let me in.. “
“no, go away. I’m not hurt, i am not injured. i’m fine, i am okay. “
“trust me, let go and just be held. “
The calm voice sounded perfect, peaceful and wise… It affected me so much. That little voice didn’t try to break those walls I have built over time, it didn’t try to cross over, no! It found a door and knock, waited patiently till I was able and willing to open up.
you and i, you and her, you and him. We won’t go far trying to break in OR cross over. That’s not how to win friends, you are not a thief, stop trying to rip people’s walls apart.
Want to be friends, knock and wait patiently. Better still knock and pray patiently.
Remember the scriptures says knock and it shall be open, keep knocking but do it patiently.
Many people live within those walls, if you try to break it, you are going tol hurt them. If you try to cross over, you might land on their heads. Just knock.
Never judge people.
You have no idea what they have to deal with, the insecurities, low self-esteem, heart breaks, an abusive home or relationship, past betrayals. Knock!
And when you knock walk in carefully, some of them have laid their heart on that ground, be careful it’s tender, you might step on it.
They were moment they thought they would never make it, they still do… When you walk in encourage them, be there to speak, help them make it. Become a pillow and shoulder.
when you have a problem with your friends tell them.
why keep it to yourself, say it out. they will listen, correct in love, complain carefully.
when you keep this things you become bitter and grumpy, you become hurt, pained and damaged.
A problem said is half solved.
Value your friends.
One time my friend said to me “Hahahahahaa the way you value yourself ba that’s how people will value you….”that one sentence shattered me.
see, this value thing can’t be hidden, it’s not something you can put in your pocket. no! Value can be felt, sensed and seen. Value your friends, they have chosen to walk with you, talk to you, love you regardless. Let me remind you, their is someone out there that’s better than you,someone out there who fit there description of a friend but out of the whole world they picked you. Don’t take it for granted.
wait, you are not in a hurry.
if they ain’t willing to share, wait.. give them time, pray for them, tell God about their challenges and wait for him to tell you what to do.
there is no time to waste time but there is time to wait.
When ever my friend was in pain and I ask if she’s okay, she will make it clear to me that’s I don’t and won’t understand, I try hard to give them time even though am a pushy kind of person. I tend to understand they need space and create one for them.
Don’t push but don’t be gone for too long.
fix a date, you can talk things over a cup of coffee, a warm dinner, or a bottle of coke. Just don’t be pushy, stay till they are willing to share but don’t be gone for too long.
love, irrespective of any circumstances.
we ain’t perfect,we all have faults. you ain’t a saint, we make mistakes. be sorry about it, apologies and love again, love and forgive.
How do I do all of this things?
I was thought and I learnt.
has it ever worked for me?
sadly… not all the time, I still make mistakes, I still loose friends,i still feel like am treated like a trash, I still feel less valued.
why am I telling you this?
cause Christians are not perfect too, we make mistakes and we learn, stop living in the myth that every thing is fine, people will hurt you, you will hurt people. you have to know what’s makes the difference, avoid unnecessary conversation, conversations that will make you hurt and bitter. Stop trying to figure things out yourself.
God wants to be a part of your life, give him that privilege.
He wants to be with you, in your relationship with people, in the kitchen when you make dinner, he wants to be in the library when you are studying, he Wants to be in the bathroom while you shower, when you are passing that dark slippery road he wants to lift you up in his arms. Please, give him a chance.
we both know it’s only Jesus that can heal that void, you need him more than you need a friend.
Instead of talk about people with people, talk about people with Jesus, he can mend them, you can’t! He can fix your friends, he can help them, he can save them, you can’t! Stop trying to, let Jesus do it. Tell Jesus about it.
Got a problem, call Jesus.
the only way you can demonstrate love towards your friends is to practice one with the Lord.
yes I have deceived myself, this friendship thing I need it, I love it and I want to have it… The confession of a loner.
Jesus made me realize that, he can help you too. as much as I like to hide it, I love my friends, I value them and I do not take them for granted. and right now am behind the door of your heart just like yesterday…
am knocking, it’s rainy and cold outside, come make a cover for me with the shade of your friendship. be the rainbow in my storm,the cloud in my dry days and the roof over my heart. come, hurry am waiting patiently.
maybe, Just maybe, if you share and I share and they share too, we can reach my lost friend and let her know that she is still valued and loved by all of us…
thank you for reading, let’s share a cake together next time. 😘😘😘😘