It’s been a while and I’m glad to be back again with you guys, this morning we are going to be learning from an interview I had with my Woman Crush Wednesday. I met her through a friend and he said a lot about her that was intriguing and because I love to see you learn as well as grow I decided to share the interview section with you on the blog. So, pick up your mug and let’s get ready to meet Mrs Bukola Stephen: a Friend, Wife, and a Mother.
Good day Ma, welcome to Lima’s blog. Can we meet you ?
My Name is Bukola Stephen. I’m an Estate Surveyour by profession, I’m also a social media stateliest. I am happily married to Mr Dada Stephen, the founder of CEO’S HUB which is the fastest growing entrepreneurship platform in Africa. Our marriage is a little over three years now and we are blessed with a child, Master Temidire Othniel Stephen.
Q: How long have you known your husband before wearing the ring?
We have been friends for like three years before tying the knot.
Q: What convinced you that he was the one to stay?
When I checked my inner intuition about the relationship, I had peace within me.
Q: While you were single did you ever feel like time was not on your side?
No! I never felt that way. I knew the place of God for my life…
Q: A lot of ladies are in a rush to get the man on his knees Popping the Question, why do you think this is so and if it’s because of time, how do you advise they handle this situation?
Actually, in our African society there is a lot of pressure on ladies from families about marriage. We’ve peer pressure ‘all my girlfriends are getting married or are married‘. Also not forgetting that some ladies look at the length of relationship to determine proposal time, so by the time the relationship is getting old they start to panic.
Q: How do you think this can be resolved?
By adding value to ones self in the waiting phase. No phase is ever permanent in anyone’s life. So ladies should develop themselves as much as they can, learn new skills and values. So that when the man comes he will meet someone that is prepared and ready.
Also, the attitude of ladies in waiting (hope I’m permitted to call them that? LOL) should be on constant check. A lot have chased away good men with their bad attitudes yet they keep lamenting that a suitor is not forth coming.
Ladies in waiting. LOL
Q: How do you know he is a good man and not chase him away?
Let me first state that nobody is perfect.
Infact i was in another relationship when we became friends with my husband. Eventually that other one didn’t work out. We clicked and vibe well from the start with my husband and I knew he was grounded in the word of God. He cared for me and just like I said earlier I had that peace within me.
Q: Did you ever face any family pressure while dating your husband?
Thankfully No. Both parents were open minded and gave their consent.
Q: You mention that your previous relationship before you met your husband didn’t work. What’s your advice to people who just got out of a relationship? Some believe that you should take out some time to heal after a break up and others believe dating another person would help you heal and move on faster.
Difference strokes for different folks. What works for everyone differs.
My only advise would be that you should know the cause of the break up and try to work on it, even if it means working on yourself before jumping into another relationship.
Q: Yesterday you advised to learn new skills and values. What can you say about placing value on ourselves and how it affect our relationships?
First, if anyone doesn’t value him/herself then the person has no business entering into any relationship. Why you may ask? Happiness and value is what you place on yourself and others will treat you exactly the way you treat yourself. When you don’t value yourself you place a high and unreasonable demand on people. And often times people fall below expectations.
Q: WOW… What’s your secret to making marriage work for a lifetime?
A pastor said something on our wedding day. It’s been over three years now and trust me we have forgotten a lot of advises given because we are humans you know. But his advice stood out
Like I said earlier… We are just three years plus. How would you treat a three year old child? When one of us is wrong we don’t go saying things like ‘but you are old now. You should know better.’ No! we come down to the level of our marriage.
Plus, we also forgive in advance. No matter what he does, there is this bank of forgiveness we have opened, we just pick a deposit of forgiveness from it. Same goes for me. No matter what I do, he forgives.
Q: This is truly amazing ma’am and profound. How has Christ influenced your attitude towards your marriage?
He instituted marriage. He gave guidelines to how he wanted it modeled. Man as the head and the wife being subject to him. Not as a slave but as joint heirs to the kingdom of God.
On the night of our wedding we both invited Christ to our home. We prayed a simple prayer. We wanted him at the center of it all.
And so far, it has been working for us.
Q: Advice for single ladies?
Trust God. Don’t think you know better than him. His ways are not our ways. All these he’s not my spec, I love tall guys blah, blah, blah. Perhaps God has prepared one short brother that will worship the very ground you walk on. You will use your spec to put yourself in trouble.
I wanted someone tall to help my children’s height. Guess what? I didn’t get the 6ft but I married the plan of God for my life.
Q: A man of God said to marry your temptation (spec I believe) so that you won’t be distracted when you see what you want outside your matrimonial home. What do you have to say about this Ma?
See, if you marry Gods plan for your life you will forget that you had one spec before. You will be too busy fulfilling Gods plan and purpose for your life to remember your youthful loss. I’m not saying tall guys, fine guys, fair ones, jovial ones e.t.c can’t be Gods plan for his daughter. Infact he picks out the best for his own child.
Just make sure you follow his leading. Okay?
Okay! WOW… Thank you for the interview… and the idea that marrying Gods plan for your life will make you forget you had a certain spec.
Thank you for having me Lima.
God bless you ma’am…
WOW, so you have heard it all from Mrs Bukola Stephen.
- Make use of your singleness
- Add value to yourself
- Value yourself
- Don’t be in a rush or hurry to walk the isle
- Trust God for your life and relationships
- Set peace as your compass
- Marry Gods plan for you
- Bride Price: How Do I Help Him Without Offending My Parents
- It’s Okay To Be Human Too
- Why You Need A Relationship Bank